im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
