thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
