We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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