It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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