I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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