You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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