Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
