we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
