I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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