I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
