At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
