I think I died a long time ago.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize