He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
