ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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