i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
