We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
