I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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