There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
