He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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