laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
