And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
