Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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