I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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