never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
