I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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