sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
