see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
