NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
