Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
