i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
