Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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