the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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