Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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