just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
