you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
