You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
