his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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