I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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