Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
