You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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