You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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