just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Randomize
