are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
