I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
