at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
