she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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