It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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