Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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