I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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