Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
