I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
