No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
