I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
