Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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