YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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