Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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