i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
