sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
