NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
