i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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