That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize