i think i have herpe
just one?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
