To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
